I feel miserable and I should probably be doing something worthwhile but I didn't even feel like getting out of bed today so it's a start I'm already at school where I can't duck school plus I have a big test today. Lickily I manged to complete two assignments yeterday and I can complete a third today.
Feeling depressed and you know but yeah. Fighting
Peace nad Blesings
Monday, October 17, 2011
Monday, October 10, 2011
Sick...Tired.....Wanting to be Free
Feeling flu-y among other things I haven't been taking care of myself as I should be. I've been a bit depressed over the last few weeks, days, who knows I've been out-of-whack with the time as well. I'm back to that phase where it's easier to sleep during the day and can't due to my timetable, at nights my mind is so clustered that I cannot go to sleep yet it is the best time for m to produce work.
I feel alone yet bombarded and I'd really like to take a break from everything and simply go back to it. I decided I'd write an autobiography for Nano but I seem to be changing my mind on that I don't like to be attached to one thing for too long or else it becomes a bore. These subject per trimester really work out because I don't know how I'd last with some of these subjects. The only thing I've stuck at is writing, creating, writing mostly because the means to it is always there. Yes, I do have to create the time to sit and write at times but still I don't once I've put my mind to it, it's done......; sitting on the bus; eating; just before nodding off. I must say a Blackberry improves one's writing if that person uses certain applications to the fullest, such as the emailing capabilities and the word processor application. If the Word isn't present the text/notepad can also be used.
I'm tired: emotional, physically. I'm tired of fighting. I'm tired of running. I'm tired of making paths. I'm just tired.
I'm also having fun. I've been creating and those times that I have over the last couple of weeks have been great. They made me feel so alive. They made my mind turn effortlessly with effort. What I mean is: i was working and there was no stress, at times doubt but always a possible direction just in case and it felt so good.
I've, apparently, got to decide what my cost for designing is. I have absolutely no clue what that should be no clue whatsoever. Got to check it out.
The more I write the more I want to write. Writing clears my mind and oddly the words move from my mind to the screen almost instantaneously with little thought and it makes me want to continue and then I stop and slowly the feeling of having to try so hard to reach mediocre finds its way back and I begin to feel like a failure and less and less motivated......
I was offered something last week. Actually two things both of which I've (technically) turned down one of which I'm waiting to arise for the third time. Let's hope that I should really be taking it because if i shouldn't then that would be quite unfortunate. It's a dream which I hadn't thought of pursuing but it seems that the dream itself is pursuing me.
I feel alone yet bombarded and I'd really like to take a break from everything and simply go back to it. I decided I'd write an autobiography for Nano but I seem to be changing my mind on that I don't like to be attached to one thing for too long or else it becomes a bore. These subject per trimester really work out because I don't know how I'd last with some of these subjects. The only thing I've stuck at is writing, creating, writing mostly because the means to it is always there. Yes, I do have to create the time to sit and write at times but still I don't once I've put my mind to it, it's done......; sitting on the bus; eating; just before nodding off. I must say a Blackberry improves one's writing if that person uses certain applications to the fullest, such as the emailing capabilities and the word processor application. If the Word isn't present the text/notepad can also be used.
I'm tired: emotional, physically. I'm tired of fighting. I'm tired of running. I'm tired of making paths. I'm just tired.
I'm also having fun. I've been creating and those times that I have over the last couple of weeks have been great. They made me feel so alive. They made my mind turn effortlessly with effort. What I mean is: i was working and there was no stress, at times doubt but always a possible direction just in case and it felt so good.
I've, apparently, got to decide what my cost for designing is. I have absolutely no clue what that should be no clue whatsoever. Got to check it out.
The more I write the more I want to write. Writing clears my mind and oddly the words move from my mind to the screen almost instantaneously with little thought and it makes me want to continue and then I stop and slowly the feeling of having to try so hard to reach mediocre finds its way back and I begin to feel like a failure and less and less motivated......
I was offered something last week. Actually two things both of which I've (technically) turned down one of which I'm waiting to arise for the third time. Let's hope that I should really be taking it because if i shouldn't then that would be quite unfortunate. It's a dream which I hadn't thought of pursuing but it seems that the dream itself is pursuing me.
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