I hate the fact that my ex PROMISED to collect something I bought online and send it to me and then told me he'd collected and mailed it to me when he DIDN'T. I HATE that he's such a boy he neglect my calls, IMS, and emails about the topic. and I HATE that he didn't have the guts to say I won't do it. I hate that he couldn't say to himself...."Well since I am going home, I'll just bring it with me." I hate that I had to find out by the company emailing me that the package had been returned. I hate that I'll have to spend more money and I hate that the money I spent will probably go down the drain.
Most of all I hate that I trusted him yet again, when I really didn't need to. I hate that I still allow him to hurt me. I hate that I might still have feelings for him. If I dind't it wouldn't hurt so much would it?
I hate that he wasn't man enough to face me.
*sigh*
Monday, March 22, 2010
Monday, March 15, 2010
Monday, March 8, 2010
Tired
After staying up for the last few days until 12 sometimes 1 or 2 and waking at 6 the latest, it has taken a toll on me and I'm simply tired.
Peace & Love
Shazi C
Peace & Love
Shazi C
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Writing: Black and Beautiful
I mentioned entering a contest on the day before the deadline some time ago.
It so happens that I topped the 18-35 category. Oh yea!!
I feel so overwhelmed, shocked, and motivated.
I'll be much more focus from now on.
:-D
Peace & Love!
Shazi C
It so happens that I topped the 18-35 category. Oh yea!!
I feel so overwhelmed, shocked, and motivated.
I'll be much more focus from now on.
:-D
Peace & Love!
Shazi C
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Here, there, everywhere?
Life has been moving in every possible direction it can. The good the bad and the down right nasty.
I've been through a heavy and well covered depression. No one noticed it. Only the stress, which cause a lot of headaches for most.
I'm feeling much better at the moment and it would seem I've helped another with their depression. It makes me feel even better.
This is the response to a friend asking "How are you? Is everything okay?"
Stressed. No. Though I might be over-reacting.
It's about work and it's personal still because my boss is Black.
I'm angry about the Super not being man enough to take his own blame and it ticks me off even worst that he's pretending to be a buffer.
I'm displeased that he always has to have everything done his own way once Black isn't there. Why do I have to undo something and redo when precedence has already been set?
Why do I have to take the blame when Black already know the problem but refuses to address it? Why, oh why are grown men playing this ridiculous game?
Why can't people take their own blame?
Why do I have to explain things to people higher than myself when they've been working so much longer than I have? Shouldn't you know this?
Why do you promise something when you know you can't give it? Why do I have to take the fall? I couldn't make the early decision but I must take the end result if bad? What's the problem with your management skills? You're impulsive so am I but I do think ahead it's a part of living is it not?
I exploded at work but thanks to having written this before it wasn't as destructive as any of my out burst from the past. It was actually helpful.
What's up with the good parent trick? I ask for university help in '08 its '10 we're out of the '0 somethings. Another had to complete school after and go before me. Now you're acting as though you're the thing of a lifetime and with that there are still other complications.
Tiny and I are trying to build a house, a home. We've already calculated everything for when the approval form DCA comes through. It can't be done without a little help.
It’s hard to get a job these days. So I’ve got to stay in this one…until. And that’s the problem…I’m trapped here. Unable to move unable to budge, stir, nothing.
And I’m also picking up Tiny's stress about lodging with other people for too long…it was planned that we’d be out on our own for almost two years now if things had worked out.
In addition, I’ve begun forgetting things. They are minor but it’s terrible. My stress headaches are back and though karate helps and I try to relax they are extremely strong and very distracting.
Sorry about the way in which I’ve written it. That’s the way my minds running at the moment. Thank you, my mind is now relaxed enough for me to go to sleep. With three blogs I didn’t even think of writing about it…I wonder why
I've been through a heavy and well covered depression. No one noticed it. Only the stress, which cause a lot of headaches for most.
I'm feeling much better at the moment and it would seem I've helped another with their depression. It makes me feel even better.
This is the response to a friend asking "How are you? Is everything okay?"
Stressed. No. Though I might be over-reacting.
It's about work and it's personal still because my boss is Black.
I'm angry about the Super not being man enough to take his own blame and it ticks me off even worst that he's pretending to be a buffer.
I'm displeased that he always has to have everything done his own way once Black isn't there. Why do I have to undo something and redo when precedence has already been set?
Why do I have to take the blame when Black already know the problem but refuses to address it? Why, oh why are grown men playing this ridiculous game?
Why can't people take their own blame?
Why do I have to explain things to people higher than myself when they've been working so much longer than I have? Shouldn't you know this?
Why do you promise something when you know you can't give it? Why do I have to take the fall? I couldn't make the early decision but I must take the end result if bad? What's the problem with your management skills? You're impulsive so am I but I do think ahead it's a part of living is it not?
I exploded at work but thanks to having written this before it wasn't as destructive as any of my out burst from the past. It was actually helpful.
What's up with the good parent trick? I ask for university help in '08 its '10 we're out of the '0 somethings. Another had to complete school after and go before me. Now you're acting as though you're the thing of a lifetime and with that there are still other complications.
Tiny and I are trying to build a house, a home. We've already calculated everything for when the approval form DCA comes through. It can't be done without a little help.
It’s hard to get a job these days. So I’ve got to stay in this one…until. And that’s the problem…I’m trapped here. Unable to move unable to budge, stir, nothing.
And I’m also picking up Tiny's stress about lodging with other people for too long…it was planned that we’d be out on our own for almost two years now if things had worked out.
In addition, I’ve begun forgetting things. They are minor but it’s terrible. My stress headaches are back and though karate helps and I try to relax they are extremely strong and very distracting.
Sorry about the way in which I’ve written it. That’s the way my minds running at the moment. Thank you, my mind is now relaxed enough for me to go to sleep. With three blogs I didn’t even think of writing about it…I wonder why
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