Is it possible for me to have DID

After reading the below I couldn't help but wondering since I seen to have all of the warning signs to an extent. But I think I'll stick to the once I can question if I have it I don't senario. Hmmm. In addition I haven't lived through anything traumatic.
 

Dissociative Identity Disorder

What it is:
A survival mechanism, Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) occurs when extreme trauma causes a person to compartmentalize their pain, thereby creating multiple personalities. The onset of this disorder is in childhood, usually from ages three to nine, because it is still possible for them to break their developing "self" into multiple personalities.
Warning Signs:

• Inability to recall important personal information.
• Impaired social functioning.
• Assumption of a new identity.
• Loss of time.

http://www.healthyplace.com/abuse/escaping-hades/physical-effects-of-being-raped-or-sexually-assaulted/menu-id-806/page-2/#did
 
 
Next on the list. I have a headqche which is coming on which is strress relatewd. I have yet to submit any substantial work for my English course and I feel behind on the others-ish.
 
Bless me Father.
 
 
Sincerely,
Shaziane

I don't know why

I don't know why the hell I ever though and keep fooling myself into ever thinking that I'd fit in. The only time I really do is when I'm imitating somebody and it's just so unreal and still I keep doing t , I keep trying to fit in to feel apart while maintaining my identity and it doesn't work....thankfully for who I am is me and even though I try wearing everybody's coat my skin, still shows beneath and the coat just don't fit right. They look pretty and I stand out for a while until I really begin to stand out and it's getting to me and I feel as though I"m going crazy and things keep getting hazy only they never clear they simply get hazier and then it gets hard to see and then what do I do get the urge to clear my eyes with tears but what good will that do when I can see clearly but there's nothing to see?

I really need to get comfortable in my skin, enjoy my nudity because it's beautiful even though I keep denying it. I don't know why it's so hard when I know exactly what I need to know which is that I will never fit in and that my skin is mine. It's for me to use it in a manner which is best and that isn't  being cover in fraudulent mess.

I found someone in whom I see myself and he is different. He stands out in a way that allows persons to gravitate towards him and mimic 'him', not the other way around. He's different. His skin glitters n the dark and he doesn't wear a coat....or I can't make out the coat if there is one. I thought he was what I was looking for and it still feels that way only he has already found what I found in him within himself also and he doesn't need or want a compliment. So again I've got to do something that's worthwhile and me and inspiring and I am so tired of playing silly games, looking for friends and trust and trust and loyalty and apparently....it does not exist with the realm in which I've peered. So....I'm saying, maybe for the millionth time, forget everything, I'm doing me.


I am a twenty-one year old poet who plays wit various personality traits depending on my moods. I do not have any disorders. I generally live in depressionand I am aware of how to use it. I am anti-social and I enjoy observing and manipulating emotions through the arts. I am a voluptuous female who does not feel the need to be the centre of a male's attention when it comes my body, rather I enjoy being enlightened. I am honest, loyal and trustworthy in every sense of the word. I lie quite well and quite easily. I am proud. I have great potential and perseverance both of which I am trying to get passed those sages to being greater, the best.

I am a female with enough anger to kill without remorse. However, death isn't my job. So from hence forth I refuse to be shut up. I chose to tell you the truth as is asked or not.


Sincerely,
M-E

Over The Top

Pleases stop staring at my legs

They were here yesterday

And today your making them shake

Please stop staring at me

I was here yesterday too

And you're making me quiver

Silver bells ring in my ears

And I refuse to decline a pathway to these sliver tears

I cannot bear it any longer

This isn't making me stronger

My bones feel cold

My eyes hotter

My arms, legs....without ground they are

Wordless breaths escape this throat, clearly, through clenched teeth


And I think...a thought is formed


Fingertips connect with cotton...


Mercy!


...the thought is dashed...reduced to naught

And I sit,

Eyes fluttering,

Head tossing to and fro, trying at best to rid this thing in my veins

And yet this a supplement,

An elixir perhaps,

This is that which I can no longer live without.


Sincerely,
Shaziane

P.S. Do forgive me once again.

Sooo Goood

Good Morning,
 
I feel soooo goood. Like jellin goood, like move-your-body,-make it hypnotic good. I feel sexy...no I don't feel sexy because that depends on the outsider's perceptive of what sexy is. But I feel good. Good like the first crush good, the first guy that you love good, the first guy that shows you what love is (not what the media portrays but the good stuff we dream of and try to understand) good. The first taste of time shattering chocolate good. The first hit of love story where the ending is one which you desire and which seems realistic.
 
This feels like and orgasm, an emotional orgasm. Tears whelm, the earth is non-existent and I have to touch, grab, hold something to brace myself, to remind the rest of me that it isn't just me, that I've got to keep myself together. No screaming, no shouting, no jumping or running, no "oh-my-Lord-have mercy", no "yes, this is good", no tears streaming, no breathless exhales or smiles that make the rest of me tingle or maybe that tingle is wht causes the smile. Owwwwwww.
 
I feel good. I feel good. I feel guhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhoooood. Yeah. This is the untouchable stuff.
 
May your day be filled with peace and joy and many blessings.
 
I'm off I've got ten pages due and I am undaunted by that fact. I feel good.
 
God Bless,
Shaziane

I want to touch you

I want to touch you.
 
I don't need any indecency. I don't need any nudity. All I want to do is touch you.
 
A skim of fingers. A handshake. Even the passing of an object.
 
What would really please me is a hug.
 
A siimple, uncomplicated hug.
 
With your arms wrapped around me loosely, your fingers resting on my clothing so that the cloth barey touches my skin.
 
 
Lord, have mercy. Please, really do.
 
 
Wow. You came too close.
 
Two...four feet too close. But those four...two feet felt like "Death Of A Slave" (Martin Carter) and "Death Of A Salesman (Arthur Miller) maybe even a little bit of Tennesse William's Glass Menagerie, all combined.
 
Torture!
 
And yet they felt like "The Second Sons Trilogy" (Jennifer Fallon), "Pride and Prejudice" (Jane Austen) and great performances that have reduced me to trembling.
 
Breathtaking Ecstacy...
 
Mercy! This is insanity.
 
This emotional roller coaster is going too fast for me.
 
I feel like crying heartbreak tears along with the I'm-so-happy-I could-cry solo.
 
And yet all I could do...was nothing
 
All thoughts ceased.
 
 
Pitifully
 
 
Restraint was still avalable.
 
 
 
 
 
 
Sincerely,
Shaziane
 
 
P.S. Do forgive the format. But this is simply how I felt it come. REleasing that just as is felt good! Peace.