This week has been a good one. I've had several humps to jump over and valleys to climb out of but it has been a learning experience ad I am pleased to have realized this during their happenings rather than after. It helped me to fight to maintain myself as the person I want and need to be rather than the person that others desire. And because of that at the end of the week I feel great. I haven't sold out. Ea part of the movement. Rather, I have set myself aside as being different, determined, and weird.
I don't have much to say. Actually, I'm putting in the effort to be silent in times when I really feel like speaking simply to be comforted. It is an old project which has been re-energized. Let's see how it flows.
I have a habit of typing a number of things on my phone and leaving them in the draft section. It helps to get my creativity out of my head into the world, and also to keep me from looking awkward while waiting in various places. In addition, it helps to get my frustration outer just things which need to be said which I refuse to speak for fear of whatever I fear.
I actually intended to send this but decided against it immediately after typing it: the receiver would not have cared much or enough for it to be significant. Sexual should be replaced with intimate. Reference to the same person and no clue of the time or place.
"Come steal me away. I beg of you please."
That guy...who never gets my text but is always in my texts.
"Forgiveness is difficult but necessary. Love is the best gift that I have/anyone could receive."
Truth spoken and I know not the reason or any other specifics
"I sob like a little girl when I don't get what I want. I feel like one when I don't, so I guess the action is fitting. I have effectively wasted $30. But last night was fun , tonnes of healthy, unbridled, honest fun. It may very well be the only fun of its kind that I ever indulge in. I miss the. An that showed me such fun in the simplicity of the mundane: walking, talking freely. But the strange bit is our feelings towards each other are nothing alike. He does not love me."
This refers to my not being able to attend When A Woman Moans on May 26, 2012. The above and below are joined in thought but written separately, since nothing has been edited for the sake of publishing.
"You allow me the kind of freedom which I refuse to lose, refuse to give up for sex, relationship, a chance at perfection. I will only release this openness, this clarity of expression when the next aspect entails this within.
"I can't get physical with you unless there's an intimate relationship of love on your fingertips.""
Sounds...:pp I know
"I feel beautiful and happy and blessed."
"Be A Design Group | Quality of Life | Peace: 100 ideas |Passing-notes.com | Visitoffice.com | Hammerpress.net | Elixirdesign.com | Artwithheart.org |Ames Bros |344design.com | 17feet.com | Yesdesigngroup.com FINGERPRINT"
Graphic Design related firms, books,etc taken from Fingerprint ( a book showcasing great designs.
"It is the lack of understanding love which cases most men to be so similar. If one does not understand or believe what is, how can they apply or accept it in their lives."
My thoughts on men and love..
"Lately I've been experiencing strange pains. When raising my arms shoulders hurt if pressure has been applied to them during sleep. My knees are another issue. If bent or my legs are intertwined while sleeping they hurt, moving heightens the level of pain.So repositioning is difficult. Putting pressure on the area with my hand helps a little. Actually the repositioning has to be done with my hands. Moving my legs on their own is very painful in the knees and muscles extending downward from there. However after being set straight the pain subsides quickly unless I decide to stand with a foot which still has a kink. In this case setting the foot right and standign for a few seconds takes care of the problem. Shifting to my back with relaxed armsat my side, quells the problem in my upper body. An area in my belly, possibly in the uterus hurts terribly. Touching it increases the pain. Nothing lessens the pain and inhaling makes it worst. Headaches formerly linked to overuse of the PC are back"
Scribbles on my health and pains.
"Yo no se por que creo tu ser diferente de otra hombre pero no eres y veo que ahora. Fue estupido de yo a espero. Esta es no necisita pero quiero hablar."
I just had to say this. I was hurt and finally realized that the guy I'm smitten with was not any different from any other. It wasn't mean to hurt it was meant as a way for me to get it out, so that it would stop bothereing me.
"A poem title, Every Flaw Put To Rest"
I writing poems on my phone a lot. :-)
"ILUC Campaign logo and t-shirt | Create the first i deside on colours. Check printing cost for second"
I really need to get this done for the last forever ago but.....time...tasks...procrastination
"Why does the world seem to stop when you enter a room? Why do my thoughts zoom in on you?Why does the room become too small when I'd like to exist and forget that you do? Why do I endure this torture when I'd like to run to the corner? Why do I stay when I should be walking away? If the truth should come alive, silence it. There's no need to have my name slandered with its lie. Tell that naked thing to clothe itself [because] I am (not) telling that man..'I love you'"
Just my feelings.......
I'll have to continue this later
Blessings and peace to all :-)
God is Love
Today I'm transferring them to the net as a way of clearing my phone.
"I'm to be sexual because I'm afraid of being awkward and messing up everything so I freeze or ignore what's happening unless really pushed to do otherwise. I hate feeling awkward and on the spot."I actually intended to send this but decided against it immediately after typing it: the receiver would not have cared much or enough for it to be significant. Sexual should be replaced with intimate. Reference to the same person and no clue of the time or place.
"Come steal me away. I beg of you please."
That guy...who never gets my text but is always in my texts.
"Forgiveness is difficult but necessary. Love is the best gift that I have/anyone could receive."
Truth spoken and I know not the reason or any other specifics
"I sob like a little girl when I don't get what I want. I feel like one when I don't, so I guess the action is fitting. I have effectively wasted $30. But last night was fun , tonnes of healthy, unbridled, honest fun. It may very well be the only fun of its kind that I ever indulge in. I miss the. An that showed me such fun in the simplicity of the mundane: walking, talking freely. But the strange bit is our feelings towards each other are nothing alike. He does not love me."
This refers to my not being able to attend When A Woman Moans on May 26, 2012. The above and below are joined in thought but written separately, since nothing has been edited for the sake of publishing.
"You allow me the kind of freedom which I refuse to lose, refuse to give up for sex, relationship, a chance at perfection. I will only release this openness, this clarity of expression when the next aspect entails this within.
"I can't get physical with you unless there's an intimate relationship of love on your fingertips.""
Sounds...:pp I know
"I feel beautiful and happy and blessed."
"Be A Design Group | Quality of Life | Peace: 100 ideas |Passing-notes.com | Visitoffice.com | Hammerpress.net | Elixirdesign.com | Artwithheart.org |Ames Bros |344design.com | 17feet.com | Yesdesigngroup.com FINGERPRINT"
Graphic Design related firms, books,etc taken from Fingerprint ( a book showcasing great designs.
"It is the lack of understanding love which cases most men to be so similar. If one does not understand or believe what is, how can they apply or accept it in their lives."
My thoughts on men and love..
"Lately I've been experiencing strange pains. When raising my arms shoulders hurt if pressure has been applied to them during sleep. My knees are another issue. If bent or my legs are intertwined while sleeping they hurt, moving heightens the level of pain.So repositioning is difficult. Putting pressure on the area with my hand helps a little. Actually the repositioning has to be done with my hands. Moving my legs on their own is very painful in the knees and muscles extending downward from there. However after being set straight the pain subsides quickly unless I decide to stand with a foot which still has a kink. In this case setting the foot right and standign for a few seconds takes care of the problem. Shifting to my back with relaxed armsat my side, quells the problem in my upper body. An area in my belly, possibly in the uterus hurts terribly. Touching it increases the pain. Nothing lessens the pain and inhaling makes it worst. Headaches formerly linked to overuse of the PC are back"
Scribbles on my health and pains.
"Yo no se por que creo tu ser diferente de otra hombre pero no eres y veo que ahora. Fue estupido de yo a espero. Esta es no necisita pero quiero hablar."
I just had to say this. I was hurt and finally realized that the guy I'm smitten with was not any different from any other. It wasn't mean to hurt it was meant as a way for me to get it out, so that it would stop bothereing me.
"A poem title, Every Flaw Put To Rest"
I writing poems on my phone a lot. :-)
"ILUC Campaign logo and t-shirt | Create the first i deside on colours. Check printing cost for second"
I really need to get this done for the last forever ago but.....time...tasks...procrastination
"Why does the world seem to stop when you enter a room? Why do my thoughts zoom in on you?Why does the room become too small when I'd like to exist and forget that you do? Why do I endure this torture when I'd like to run to the corner? Why do I stay when I should be walking away? If the truth should come alive, silence it. There's no need to have my name slandered with its lie. Tell that naked thing to clothe itself [because] I am (not) telling that man..'I love you'"
Just my feelings.......
I'll have to continue this later
Blessings and peace to all :-)
God is Love
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Thanks. Danke. Grazie. Gracias.