Failed

I am so pissed. Why the hell can't I create? Why am I failing so badly? I am angry. I am angry at myself. I am angry beyond measure. I knew I would fail. I accepted it the moment I realized and still it hurt so damn bad. Why? Why am I in so much pain over a fail? This is ridiculous. I am angry.

Yes, I promised I wouldn't failed again and it's art we're talking about and it hurts that I could be so ridiculous. It hurts that I can pass everything else and fail the art related course it hurts in every possible way that it could. This feels like a betrayal of self. Do you know what it is to betray you?

I am at a halt, a stop with no doors, no leaks, nothing that allo9ws breathing, and nothing that allows me to move in my own mind.

I feel like screaming. A good scream would be worthwhile. It would get me somewhere. I need to get out of this box. I need to be released from this trap within my own mind. I need this freedom and I need it now.