It is rather amazing and ridiculous to think that as an adult I have not accepted who I am on a level which encompasses my entire being: physically, spiritual, mental and social.
On a regular basis for the last two months I've noted just how out of sync I feel with person how I thought were so similar in thought patterns and actions. In a one-on-one situation everything is fine all around. However when any other part is introduced I'm thrown out. In the literal sense, I am asked to leave or I am simply ignored. It feels terribly damning. It shouldn't but it does. I should know this and how to deal with it but I don't. It has happened before, many times in fact. But I've generally ignored it, continued as though nothing has changed. It feels awful and I hate feeling as though I'm an outsider in a place I thought I could call 'home', in the company of people who understand me and who I am. But apparently the only place I should call home is me.
So I'm taking my Georgie-bungle for the umpteenth time and reverting to the blunt and anti-social. They work so well. They feel so warm when I'm in their company and more so confident. Nothing beats feeling in your own skin when in your own skin....
(There are to many "but's" and "I's" in this post.)
On a regular basis for the last two months I've noted just how out of sync I feel with person how I thought were so similar in thought patterns and actions. In a one-on-one situation everything is fine all around. However when any other part is introduced I'm thrown out. In the literal sense, I am asked to leave or I am simply ignored. It feels terribly damning. It shouldn't but it does. I should know this and how to deal with it but I don't. It has happened before, many times in fact. But I've generally ignored it, continued as though nothing has changed. It feels awful and I hate feeling as though I'm an outsider in a place I thought I could call 'home', in the company of people who understand me and who I am. But apparently the only place I should call home is me.
So I'm taking my Georgie-bungle for the umpteenth time and reverting to the blunt and anti-social. They work so well. They feel so warm when I'm in their company and more so confident. Nothing beats feeling in your own skin when in your own skin....
(There are to many "but's" and "I's" in this post.)
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Thanks. Danke. Grazie. Gracias.