To the Few Who Are Many

Initially this was written to help a friend. However she doesn't require my help. But since it's written I'm posting it to help anyone else who needs this kind of help. The overall reason for your basic existence is to go to heaven. The only sin which cannot be forgiven is suicide. Repentance requires the sinner to be alive to express such a feeling and death shuts this door. No matter what happens, no matter how grave, evil, wicked, filthy or ashamed you feel, no matter how hopeless the situation is, remember that you have a second life and you have to chose whether you want to pay for those acts or have the chance to have them removed and live better than kings. It's entirely your choice: willingly burn for your sins or undo the past by turning to the Father. It's your choice. When the world is bleak, blackened by my guilt, the colour of my conscience I chalk it up to the quote: "This too shall pass." Then I find a place to scream, dwell in my own mind in silence digging for every ounce of memory from every sense, gathering the thoughts and hidden feelings that might have drove my actions. I confront the raw, untamed sections of myself and when the reason is found, decisions and goals are put in place to control the various aspects so that the internal problems are dealt with. I ensue that it will never happen again...then I sit Breathing, Slowly, Dragging air into my lungs (thinking "I am beautiful") Letting it out, (thinking "and I am a strong mind") Then push it out. I do this until the motion, until the rhythm happens on its own and a calm covers me...and I feel new, different, ready to live carefully yet freely, with a healthy, inspiring freedom. It's not as easy as the words look. There are emotional obstacles to be torn through. There are arguments to be waged within. Anger and tears to shed among other things. But once you get through them to the point where YOU decide how you are going forward: your interactions with others, how you'll respond to them about what happened and in general, the boundaries and warning signals, and get through the breathing session you should feel happier, better, as though you've grown. I hope this helps. I love you and I like who you are.