Stiffling

December 23, 2013

Everyday I wake, and the house is still. I stay in bed, and the noise begins, loud, louder, unnecessarily. For an hour I lay trying to get back to sleep but the noise...unmoving and perfectly in my ear.

Finally, I can no longer take it. I must get up. To the bathroom for relief, but as soon as I sit there is someone at the door, someone who woke before but refused to be silent, refused to move. Now, as I make my way to the most quiet I can find, there follows behind me with the noisemakers. No matter where I go the end up, with their damn noise.

At 23 soon to be 24, I have no peace. Silence is not a resident when eyes of the breathing beings are open. Throughout the day and night, I am searched for, given hateful glares, and words to my face, behind my back, spoken to me, about me.

Everyone else has peace yet I cannot. Nothing I do is worthwhile, correct, useful, and I being asked to pay for this torture.

When I worked for 400 weekly, I paid 100. I lost my job, get 200 weekly, still I must pay the same. Now, I am making a little more and I am being implored for more. Didn't they know that that 3 years of giving half of whatever I got plus whatever expenses they begged for could have helped me? And now I am expected to increase it? Give more, as I get cursed, hated more daily?

Please, I am tired, and no more feel the need to try to make others happy while they strive for my misery.